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What Women Really Mean

1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they think they are right and you need to shut up.
2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint . Just say you're welcome.
8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying FUCK YOU!
9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong", for the woman's response refer to # 3.

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The other guy faints.

When he wakes up the tall dude is standing over him looking concerned. He asks 'could you please repeat what you just said to me?'

The tall dude says 'Oh, I'm sorry, it's just that people always ask me the same questions and I get annoyed. I said, I;m 7 foot 3, 375 pounds, 12 inch penis, and my name's Turner Brown.'

The other guy says 'Oh thank fuck for that. I thought you said 'Turn Around.'

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Dead Boys Do It Better

Stop laughing and reload.

What do you call a moshpit full of emos?

A whirlpool, because they're crying.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and 100 dead babies?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What's the difference between unloading a lorryload of bowling balls and a lorryload of dead babies?

The dead babies stay on the pitchfork.

How do you get a baby out of a tree (I apologize to any Mexicans reading this)

Give a Mexican a stick and tell him it's a pinata.

What's red and goes round and round very fast?

A baby in a blender.

What's red and all over the walls?

A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.

What's the difference between grvael and baby viscera?

You can't gargle with gravel...

what's the worst thing about screwing a white man?

waiting for rigor mortis to set in.

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Dead Boys Do It Better

check out the link for good laughs!  hehe

I read your thread from beginning to end, and now I'm waiting for you to pick it up where you left off lol!

We need you!

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Best Regards, D.P.
Oh, and by the way, have a brill day! :o)