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( Seidell )
What happens now?
 Patron
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I can't sleep anymore, I can't do much of anything anymore. I literally hate sleeping, and I try my best to stay up for as long as I can before just passing out to sleep. Every time I go to sleep, I have the worst nightmares ever, and it's to the point in where I've stayed up for days without sleeping just only so I won't have these dreams. The worst part about having them, is the fact of when I wake up I know what I've dreamt about really happened, and it's true. My best friend and I were in a serious car accident back in January, he passed away a few days later from the accident, but all I hear is just the same noises in the dreams of the 18 wheeler slamming into the side of my car and glass shattering. It's a noise that wakes me up shaking and just panicking. It was a bad accident. I even feel myself right now shaking a little.
No matter what I do, I cannot get the screams and the different noises out of my head. It's a horrible noise that I wish to shake, but I just can't. I don't know what to do anymore, this is killing me because I want to sleep, then again I know what will happen when I do, and I don't want it to happen so I just stay up. I want this to go away.
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Rest in peace to my best friend Joshua of 16 years, born November 20, 1986,
passed away January 14, 2008. I'll see you soon in Heaven, love you.
Happily engaged to my beautiful fiancee Julie.
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1:29 am on June 30, 2008 | Joined June 2006 | 605 Days Active
Join to learn more about Seidell Connecticut, United States | Straight Male | 17283 Posts | 25603 Points
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jamilee
Advisor
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:(
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haiiiiiiii derr ugly.
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Post from this position was omitted due to content violations
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Skyler72
Dairy Product Addict
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Dude, that sucks... I am so so so sorry. I hope it gets better and you can forget about it... that way you could sleep. O.o
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I come for you, no one, but you. Yes, I come for you, but only if you
told me too... you know I'll always come for you.
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billygoat
Soothsayer
Patron
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coffee...it becomes your best friend.
i never sleep...well barely
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The Opera ghost really existed...Yes he existed in flesh
and blood even though he gave himself every
appearence of a real ghost, a true phantom-
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bluerosedangel
Visionary
Patron
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Have you thought about seeing professional help?
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Shit happens. Learn from it, get over it, & move on.
Myspace
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iinsurgent
Visionary
 Ad Free
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You should talk to a therapist.
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Kitty Kiska
Wealthy Hobo
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Proffessional help...
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One word....and ill get all KGB's after you
just one word...
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( Seidell )
What happens now?
Patron
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I have seen a therapist before, I just didn't like it. It actually made things more worse than better.
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Rest in peace to my best friend Joshua of 16 years, born November 20, 1986,
passed away January 14, 2008. I'll see you soon in Heaven, love you.
Happily engaged to my beautiful fiancee Julie.
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1:33 am on June 30, 2008 | Joined June 2006 | 605 Days Active
Join to learn more about Seidell Connecticut, United States | Straight Male | 17283 Posts | 25603 Points
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iinsurgent
Visionary
Ad Free
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Are there any friends you could talk to? Someone who understands you better than random people on a website, because theres more of a chance they could help.
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andrewcool
Omnipotent One
Patron
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There might be some meds, that make you go to sleep without dreams.
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Saving the World, One post at a time.
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( Seidell )
What happens now?
Patron
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Quote: from andrewcool at 1:36 am on June 30, 2008
 There might be some meds, that make you go to sleep without dreams. 
I seriously doubt it.
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Rest in peace to my best friend Joshua of 16 years, born November 20, 1986,
passed away January 14, 2008. I'll see you soon in Heaven, love you.
Happily engaged to my beautiful fiancee Julie.
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1:37 am on June 30, 2008 | Joined June 2006 | 605 Days Active
Join to learn more about Seidell Connecticut, United States | Straight Male | 17283 Posts | 25603 Points
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( Seidell )
What happens now?
Patron
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Quote: from Ad libitum at 2:16 am on June 30, 2008
Quote: from Seidell at 9:33 am on June 30, 2008
I have seen a therapist before, I just didn't like it. It actually made things more worse than better.
Have you seen a doctor?
You are probably thinking I should see a Doctor, and get some type of anti-depressant pills right? Well, I have taken them, I didn't like them so I flushed them down the toilet because the side-effects were horrible.
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Rest in peace to my best friend Joshua of 16 years, born November 20, 1986,
passed away January 14, 2008. I'll see you soon in Heaven, love you.
Happily engaged to my beautiful fiancee Julie.
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10:34 pm on June 30, 2008 | Joined June 2006 | 605 Days Active
Join to learn more about Seidell Connecticut, United States | Straight Male | 17283 Posts | 25603 Points
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Rubyy
Grasshopper
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For starters i'm just going to say i'm sorry. Loss is awful and getting through it almost as bad. At times, well most of the time. It feels like things are getting worse rather than better. I know, but don't give up just yet! There's always help out there somewhere.
-Pills
-Councilling
-Therapy
...Sounds like you've tried everything! My advice would probably be, friends. They might seem a lifetime away because of your loss. I know you can be stood in a room surrounded by people and feel more alone than ever, like nothing really matters. But despite all that, they still are there for you, no matter what.
Don't give up on councilling just yet, i've been seeing one a few months now, for personal problems of my own, but it really is helping. It's just a case of finding the right one! I've also been to art therapy, and that really wasn't for me! Like I said, you've gotta find the one that suits you!
Another thing that seems to infer from what you've said is the only time you're really thinking about what happened, and picturing it (against your will obviously).. Is in your dreams?
Maybe, if you tried confronting and talking about what happened conciously, things would calm down after hours?
One thing you could try, as stupid as it sounds, is kick boxing, step aerobics, or just some sort of physical exercise that involves a bit of OOOOFF! All your anger and frustration can come out in a healthy way, it could help you express yourself. because among ... everything! else... This seems to be the main problem you're having. A lack of EXPRESSING HOW YOU FEEL. Hope this has helped?
Keep your chin up!
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I'm really falling for you,
I hate what you're putting me through.
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3:26 am on July 1, 2008 | Joined June 2008 | 2 Days Active
Join to learn more about Rubyy England, United Kingdom | Bisexual Female | 8 Posts | 28 Points
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