Scared, Tired, Pale
I sit in my house afraid
to show myself to the world.
I Don't like who I am at times
I am too scared to change.
I am weak from fighting for my life
So I try to take it quick.
I slit my wrist like the rhyme goes
"Go up the river,BUT don't be lazy and take the bridge"
Taking that sliver to my wrists
is the best thing for me.
So many girls my age do it
They say it feels good
The relief I get from cutitng
Is like none other then a
Crack addict smoking his pipe.
As I sit here and write this I ponder with my knife
should I cut one more time?
This time can I do it right?
I want to take my own life I want to die so bad.
No one will miss me, No one even knows I'm alive
So this day I write may be my last
Maybe I'll hit the vein and I won't cry in pain
Maybe I'll lay down and just bleed out
Maybe the pain I am in will finally be gone.
No one knows what its like to watch their girlfriend or boyfriend
Kill themselves in front of you.
I watched him as he wrote the letter addressing me as
"The One I will Always LOVE"
Once the note was finished I watched him slit his wrists
I hear him cry in pain as I watch from the door
Too afraid to say anything to scared to move.
He killed himself in front of me I watched him kill himself
As I called 911 by his side I heard him utter his final words
"I'll be watching you, You don't be too long you hear, I love you"
Well this is all I have.. I haven't written any more of it since April of 2007. I don't know how to finish it.
But I guess this is my farewell? Idk I might be back, I just don't know