Recent, depressing events -- LiveWire Teen Forums

I really don't know what to do with myself anymore...
It all started a week ago. I was at the park with a group of people for a picnic party thing. I don't usually go outside or go to any social events, so it was different for me. I was sitting under a tree, and there were people all around me, and I started freaking out. I started shaking, couldn't breathe, had trouble seeing, and felt horrible. I think it was a panic attack, I'm not sure. Well, not too long after I settled down because everyone kinda dispersed, I heard a loud explosion, and someone apparently set off an M-80 (small explosive, for those that don't know) and everyone was like, cheering and laughing and having fun. Then, out of nowhere, I see someone standing near by, they lit another m-80, and threw it at me. I freaked out, knowing those things could cause some major damage, and jumped away. Unfortunately, it went off almost right away, and ended up catching my pants on fire. It burned fast, so I ended up feeling it very quickly. No one helped me, everyone just stared, some laughed, and whoever threw the thing ran away, and no one knew who he was. I ended up calling my mom to get me and take me to the hospital, and had to sit in gravel, my legs badly burned, for almost an hour. I got to the hospital, and they told me that because of how long it was before I got any help with the burns, I may not be able to walk again.

Now, that's just ONE thing that happened to me. Two days ago, I got a call from a friend of mines mom, and she told me that a very good friend of mine hung herself that night. Not only that, but she wrote a note. A note that mentioned me. She explained all about how much she hated me, for no apparent reason what so ever, just wanted to upset me. No one likes me apparently...

So, after all that happened, I fall into a sort of deep depression. I started cutting myself, more as a way to cope with all of the emotional pain, to replace it with a lesser, physical pain. I felt dead inside. I can't walk, and someone I thought was my friend was playing with me the whole time. Not only that, but soon after she died, many other friends of mine started fucking with me, teasing me, and telling me they were lying about being my friend too. So, basically, I'm alone, everyone hates me, I lost use of my legs, and I hate my life.

Thanks for reading, if anyone did. I kinda feel a little better venting all of this...

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