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LiveWire / Teen Forums / Short Stories & Poetry / Viewing Topic

A poem written by me

Replies: 7 — Last Post Sep. 6 6:13pm by xxxJOSIExx

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( Heart92 )

Sew The Holes In Your Jeans
Patron

Pain is love
Sometimes the things that feel so good are pain,
Love is the greatest pain of all,
When we try to reframe from it
We are bond to fall.
I'd rather hurt from love
Then that sweet pain at all,
It feels like dozens of daggers piercing my heart
when it's broke.
But in the beginning of love I was nervous
And had lumps in my throat
I had butterflies that wouldn't go away,
But sadly their soft fluttering have been led astray,
My heart always loves him,
I wish he would say the same,
Pain is love,
You have to accept it when you play its game.

-Heart92

Post edited at 6:15 pm on Sep. 6, 2008 by Heart92

-------
And Patch Up The Mistakes In Your Life,
Nobody Promised Life Would Be Easy
Make It Last and It Will Be Worth It
Only You Can Be The Author Of Your Life ♥

snowgo

Advisor

wow that was pretty amazing. you should say bound to fall tho.

6:04 pm on Sep. 6, 2008 | Joined Feb. 2008 | 30 Days Active
Join to learn more about snowgo United States | 196 Posts | 509 Points

LEONIDOS

Quality Control Engineer

your a warrior poet

-------
GIVE THEM NOTHING BUT TAKE FROM THEM EVERYTHING

MakingaDifference001

Dairy Product Addict

I really like it but I disagree with the message.

-------
So put your hand in the hand of mine and together we
shall walk through this valley of the shadow of death.

Ezmi

Dairy Product Addict

hmm..
a few grammatical errors you should correct
and sorry to say, but the dialogue doesn't seem to flow smoothly..

try again.

-------
[;Team Jacob;]

hooray for rootbeer

Visionary

A think some of the phrases are rather cliche, but you've got something good if you can use a little more poetic element. Keep it up.

-------
they buy and they sell and they sell all their trash to each other
but they're sick of it all, and they're bankrupt on selling