Long story: I've been in love with this guy for about three years (yes, three years, pathetic, I know) The stupid thing about it is that...he lives like four hours away from me. Don't worry, I've met him in person before. His dad is best friends with my dad and so like once maybe in a blue moon, I got to visit him. Somehow, I was still able to fall for him even though I knew that it would be hard to spend time with him. We finally started dating after we exchanged e-mail addresses. We dated for a full year until I lost contact with him. Whenever my ex and I stopped dating, my friends urged me to find somebody else better and stop hanging myself up on the same guy, so I tried to, but I failed miserable at finding somebody better....just reminded me of what I could've had... Then after a few months after that, I got to see him again. The thing I noticed this time though, he seemed to have changed for the worse. When I first him, he had so much life and he was such a sweetheart, but then the last time I saw him....He seemed to have literally NO personality at all left in him. All he seemed to care about was playing guitar. Also he had the most monotone voice I have ever heard in my lifetime. I didn't ask him what the deal was because I thought it might've offended him. Before I left, he and I were both alone and walked up to him and I wrapped my arms around his neck and just kind of held him for a few minutes, just to assure him that everything was going to be okay. Then, after my brother ruined the moment by asking where his bag was, I let go of him and he seemed to be smiling and blushing like all he needed was affection. So, I just started talking to him for a few minutes and after the abteenth time of my dad telling me to get in the car, I gave him a note I wrote before I left my house (I suck at expressing my feelings in person because I'm a very shy person) After I got into the car, my dad decided to talk to his dad for about five minutes, leaving me and my brother waiting for him in the car. During this time, about a minute after I left the house to enter the car, my ex came outside, holding my note like he had just got done reading it. All he did though was stare at me like he wanted me to get out of the car and talk to him. My stupid ass was too scared of what his reaction would be, so I stayed in the car until he decided to walk back into the house. After a few days, I got an e-mail from him saying that he still had feelings for me. It was the second happiest moment of my life (the first being when he first told me that he loved me) But, we didn't get back together because he wanted to wait until we saw each other again before we got back together (which is completely understandable) But....I eventually learned from his brother that he never loved me and that he goes through girls faster then anything. After a month of deep depression, I convinced myself that I was over him. This feeling stayed for a few months, until recently....I thought about a lot of things, and I realized that I never got over him. I've been having a lot of mixed emotions about him, first I feel like I hate him for lying to me and then I feel like I'm still madly in love with him and that I want him back. Today, I decided to see what was new with him...and (as childish as it sounds) after I found out that he has a girlfriend, I started crying so hard that I fell to the floor........I don't know what to do.....No matter how hard I have tried in the past to forget about him, he always comes back into my mind....worst feeling ever...

Why does love have to hurt this badly....? I can't help but feel like I deserve this because my last ex (the one I tried to date whenever my ex and I first stopped dating) claimed that he loved me, but I didn't return the feeling and he told me that karma would bite me on the ass because of this and it surely did...But he was an asshole who normally would threaten me and not mention he was very controlling...and I NEVER threatened my last ex, nor did I make him do anything....so why would it be karma? Sorry this is so long, I've just been lost all day and I know that advice can't make me forget him, but it could at least help me ease the pain...

Thanks....

you just have to keep reminding yourself, if its not now, then maybe eventually with time he'll realize what he could of had. i know its hard, but right now you just have to make mends with what you have. i've tried dating other people but i compare each of them to my ex. and its stupid.

yeah it hurts, but you just have to remind yourself maybe it wasnt meant to be, as hard as it sounds.

PM me if you want.

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look in the mirror and keep on shining*